Back in 2017 I did a post called “Chicks Be Like . . .” It was sexist, guys’-only humor. But with a load of new material out there, and my forthcoming 9/11 post going well but slowly, I’m publishing a new edition. It’s grown from 32 to 112 items. Sorry, ladies, this post’s not for you (except the ending). The “battle of the sexes” is one of the few battles that crosses political and cultural lines. In fact, I think it’s healthy to reaffirm that battle in this insane era of transgenderism. Also, in a time of anti-male propaganda, I think some men may welcome it. My thanks to all the memers, cartoonists and other creative people who provided this post’s content—most of whom are unidentifiable.
By the way, I’m aware that we live in a suffering world, and for many people, there is no room for laughter. So perhaps we should do some humor before its time runs out for the whole world.
DISSING WOMEN
In the old days, you could make stereotypical, sexist jokes about women. It hadn’t yet become politically incorrect
Richard Decker, The New Yorker, 11/4/1950
Things are different today. We guys are supposed to be sympathetic and empathetic to a woman’s feelings:
Now, guys, if you want tips on how to treat a women sensitively, follow the example set by doctors. They have to develop something called “bedside manner.”
Women especially appreciate your listening to them instead of doing “guy” things like watching sports. However, Miller Lite has that problem solved:
It’s a Man’s World
Meanwhile, in Britain:
The “Rachel Call” (you may need to click it twice):
In his manly but dignified way, President Ronald Reagan demonstrates what to do when your wife says she’s thinking of voting Democrat (you may need to click video twice):
A WOMAN’S PLACE IS . . .
Broken Dishwasher:
COURTING STAGE
Courting a woman has always been challenging, as the Three Stooges long ago demonstrated:
It’s even tougher courting these days, especially with hair-trigger feminism on the scene:
However, there are ways to make yourself attractive to women:
Big Bopper’s 1958 song might make you change your mind about going through that ceremony:
A Guy Thing:
Differences Between Men and Women
The above point was beautifully underscored in the 1949 film Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House:
Men vs women saying “Sorry”:
MARRIAGE STAGE
Here’s what typically happens to the American male after marriage:
“Target husbands”:
If you do get married, your bride may insist on certain conditions.
And Be Prepared for . . . ARGUMENTS.
New Yorker cartoon by Paul Noth
In fact, speaking of NFL refs . . .
Women being talkative is quite universal . . .
. . . even in the animal world. . .
. . . and in the age of modern technology:
You can always try to get even with your wife:
But ladies will ALWAYS scheme a better revenge than you.
Watch as a Turkish woman uses an app to secretly turn off her boyfriend’s TV during a crucial soccer match:
So you’ll still lose in the end. And if you give up, don’t expect any sympathy:
Charles Addams, The New Yorker, 3/12/1949
DIVORCE STAGE
Things don’t change. Here’s Daffy Duck in divorce court (from “The Henpecked Duck,” 1941):
Here’s a more updated divorce story—Billy Crystal in Throw Momma from the Train:
But don’t worry. If your marriage ends in Billy Crystal’s situation, you can still make big bucks off it. One man wrote a book, How to Get a New Life. It sold 3 copies on Amazon. He changed “L” to “W.” It sold millions.
OK, ladies. Sorry about all that! We all know the kinds of sacrifices women make for their men. In fact, I don’t think anything has summarized the truth about women better than this passage attributed to author Sir William Golding:
